Why what others think shouldn't bother you

3 min read  •  13 Sept 2021

Before diving in and analyzing the above sentence, let's first break it down into parts and define them for the sake of definiteness.

  1. others - friends, family, society, etc..
  2. think - opinions, perspectives, thoughts
  3. bother - to disturb or to not allow yourself to make a decision

Your friends, family, and society with whom you interact on a daily basis can have multiple opinions, perspectives, and thoughts on a variety of things. Things? these things can be any topic, event, news, situation, or some non-sensical gossip. Almost every person in this world has an opinion about everything, all you need is to ask, and sometimes (most of the time) not even that.

Why do humans form an opinion?

People love to talk and showcase whatever information they have gathered. This information can be some data or facts which they have accumulated from books, social media, culture, or other people. Though there is no guarantee of the authenticity of the information, none the less they have something to talk about or say. But, there could be cases when people don't have any data or information. That is one of the cases where most opinions are formed.

When do humans form an opinion?

Humans form opinions in two cases (that are all the cases possible):

  1. when they have data
  2. when they don't have data

Now the question arises, What is data? Different people can have a different understanding of the word 'data', to be precise I will define data as any information or fact (right or wrong), a human has accumulated.

When the person forms an opinion on the basis of some data, they have some data to back their opinion. The data could be right or wrong depending upon the perspectives of different people. But, essentially they have deduced an opinion out of some data. On the other hand, when humans don't have data, they tend to make opinions on the basis of what they wish to believe.

How to not get bothered?

To answer this question, we need to answer 'Why we get bothered' first.

Give yourself 15 seconds and think! Why do we get bothered?

There could be multiple reasons -

  1. against your opinion
  2. other person is above in the social hierarchy
  3. other person's opinion is rude
  4. other person's opinion is socially accepted

and so on...

First of all, you need to ask yourself, do you really need someone's opinion or thoughts. It is completely okay to ask for opinions about something from someone. But are you really looking for opinions? Answer yourself. If no, then don't give someone enough credibility to silent down your own voice.

If you really want to know about someone's opinion on something, make sure the person you're asking and the topic you want to talk about are related. And consider the fact that the person whom you're asking, is human (same as you). They have some data (right or wrong) to back it up. They are not smarter than you. What they have is the data, if you think the data is credible enough to take their opinion, take it. Else, you can search for someone who has valid data (according to you) to take an opinion.